I have not been the best person to cope with change. In my experiences I put change under the rug and move on without looking at how I actually feel. All to have something come up later that forces me to look under the rug and then because its been left there and not dealt with it suddenly piled up like how dust accumulates on an old book. Its not good to avoid what we feel like when we are experiencing change. Even the good changes like an exciting new relationship, a new job, a new house come with all types of emotions that need to be embraced and faced.
Its ok to be emotional. It is ok to feel sad. And don't let people tell you otherwise. One of the biggest changes in my life was when my best friends moved across the country. I was beyond devastated. And trust me the relationships have changed since they left- and we all feel it, I'm sure of it. One of the hardest things for me to deal with was feeling that I shouldn't feel the way I did. People in fact told me that I should feel different and that I was not being supportive. In my reality, I was supportive, I was happy for them but
I felt how I felt and I needed to go through the motions and feel what I felt and come to terms with my new situation. Sure, no one died, and people tried to tell me that- but really? I was still grieving the loss of something I knew. Relationships I had invested in and I knew would never be the same. My fear was that they would change in a distanced way and not a growing way. It took time, but I was able to embrace it, and face the change and eventually made a big move of my own. That if they had never left, maybe I wouldn't have either. Who knows.
Unfortunately when I go through changes I feel alone. I instantly think that I am the only one experiencing these thoughts and fears and that I don't have friends that care. I know, I have friends that care. I have been making a constant effort to keep my close friends here in the UK involved and updated with my life. Even the hard stuff. Because I want people here for me when I go through change- both positive and negative. I want them to know so that they can be my support system when the day comes. Which means, that I am preparing myself to not feel alone, but also to know that when things happen I have people to turn to immediately. I don't want to bottle things up anymore. I used to.. and It makes it worse in the long run. I want to take my change and show it to people and ask them to help me in the process. I hope when you go through some type of change that you can connect with your friends. You may feel alone and not want to bother them, but trust me- you are not a burden.
I think we sometimes get change thrown at us and we think we will never be able to adapt. But remember, thats just our brain freaking out for the readjustment period. We have always been able to adapt. Look back in history! We as a global society have been adapting to change since the beginning of time. New trends phase in and out and we sometimes don't even notice when the shift happened until we look back. Change happens slowly all the time- every day we live we are closer to our death. As I type this I am growing older by the second.. seconds I will never get back! But its those big changes that smack us in the face those are the ones that his us hard! Like I am turning 30 in May. I am actually quite freaked out about it. Realizing that I'm not getting any younger wishing you could freeze time… Its a big one. But like everything else, I will adapt. I adapted to 18, I adapted to 21,25 and I will adapt to 30. My grandma has happily adapted to her 80s.. I will be ok. But I am not going to shove my feelings under the rug, I will feel them and I will know that its not the end of the world and I will adapt.
Part of the adaption process is being willing to grow as people using the change to make us better humans. I will always be Stacey.. I always have certain core characteristics and traits that are mine.. but I can tell you the Stacey I am today isn't the same stacey I was at 25. I really like who I have become. I am stronger. I am more brave. I am more critical and more realistic. I don't want to go back to 25, although I think when I turned 25 I was all about freezing time then too. I know that at 35 I will look back and see all the growth that happened to me just in the 5 years, all the change that I experienced and how ultimately all of those changes guided me to the person I am supposed to become. I have moved to 3 different US cities, a 4th city in a new country, and I have closed and opened chapters of my life whether they be relationships, jobs, educational pursuits etc and I am so thankful for the journey. I used to look at myself as a failure for when things went wrong… and now I just see myself as girl on an adventure a journeyer- experiencing life fully and all the change that comes with it.