"The Greatest Oak Was Once A Little Nut Who Held Its Ground"
I am so tired. I don't want this to be a vent session because I know that everything I am doing is exactly what I signed up for. Yet, I can't deny that I am utterly exhausted. However, through the storm, through the rain, and on into the sunshine, I am simply a little nut that is hanging on. I will make it through this season of preparation and when I grow tall and strong I will look back and be thankful that I held on. If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, tossed through life's season- just hang on like the nut that you are, and you too could grow into something great!
Remember to stop and smell the roses.
Last night I went to a wonderful friend's sweet 16 birthday party. I remember my sweet 16. Shared it with Ally Cocke, now Owens, we both share birthdays. We had several friends over to my house, played pool, sat in the hot tub, had the fire pit burning (yes, my parents were smart to make a really awesome house so that we didn't want to hang out elsewhere). It was such a good time. I still have pictures of that birthday party.. and looking back it is funny how friends that I thought would be forever friends are now just facebook acquaintances. Sadly, some friends have passed away, and didn't even make it to their last year in their 20s. You just never know what life is going to bring. Life changes. To be honest, change seems to be the only thing that is consistent in life. My 29th birthday is May 9th, which at this rate means I will be spending the big 30 in Edinburgh, Scotland. (That could be a really great celebration so, you all should start saving your pennies.)
As I have been reflecting on life, I often get frustrated with myself for where I am. Close to 30, unmarried, no kids... All my friends are married, with children and seem to be living the most perfect life. I don't know if their lives are perfect, but on the outside, they look pretty fantastic. They look far from lonely, and that is what I struggle with. Part of the reason I am looking forward to moving is to face this fear of mine. I will be in a new place, without knowing anyone. I look at my life and I struggle with frustration because of some of the decisions I have made. I won't lie, I have made some very poor ones. I am learning though. Sometimes I make decisions even though I shouldn't have. When you look at the circumstances side by side, I would have thought I learned my lesson the first time around and then wonder how in the world I ended up in a similar or even worse situation. I guess, sometimes it takes people a little longer. I mean heck, I am a slow reader, I read things twice... maybe I am supposed to live certain things twice to fully understand it. Who knows? I guess, as long as I am learning, even if it is a little bit at a time, that is what is important. And since I am being honest, I know that some other poor decisions I made, found their silver lining in bigger and better decisions. I read a quote the other day that says,
Sometimes, when circumstances or disappointments bump you off track, it's the beginning of an even bigger dream coming true, that could not have come
To every poor decision I have made, I have also made some amazing ones. My career choice is one of them. This last weekend I spent in Atlanta at the Street Leverage-Life Conference and was reminded again just how much I love what I do. I look forward to continuing to learn and grow within my profession. My experiences from the West Coast to the East Coast to now the South have been diverse, exciting, and have helped shape me as a person. I also made a good decision to stay in TN. Not for the job or dating (because those who know me, know just how terrible those experiences have been) but because I met my best friend Kim. I would have never met Kim if I was not here. There is a time and place for everything If I had never met Kim, that fire that lit my desire to travel would have never been lit, and the idea would have never crossed my mind to actually pack up and move to another country to go to school. If I had never met Kim, I would have never known what it is like to have a bestfriend. I have had a lot of friendships come and go, but I have never had a bestfriend. One that I think about daily, worry about, and care for as if she were my own blood.
I have made other good decisions, such as to put myself through graduate school. Slow and Steady wins the race... I am debt free with a Master of Education Degree. Buying my house was an awesome decision. Joining the EARS committee, which I have no time for, was a great decision because I met the Huddleston family. The most amazing family I have ever met. This family has adopted me as their own and I can honestly say, I couldn't have gotten through much of anything this past year without their continued support. I hope they each know how much they mean to me, and that I hope that they know I am here for them as much as they have been here for me.
So to those girls who are turning 16 this year. To those girls who have the struggles of high school, face teenage drama, experience the multitude of insecurities, and question what the future holds- let me tell you.. it doesn't get easier.. it just gets different. Let all of the challenges in life continue to build your character, find the silver lining in each of them and continue to dream and move forward. Even if there was 1 good month, over a period of 11 terrible ones.. imagine where you would be without that 1 good month. You might take 11 more bad ones just because you are still thankful for that 1 good one. Live, Learn, and continue to love. Love yourself and love others.
What I planned to Write about...
I didn't mean for the above to just flow out, but it did. So what I planned to write about was that tickets have been purchased for Edinburgh. I fly out on Sept 4th. This is exactly 4 months from today. Can you believe that? I arrive on Sept 5th. I will be flying British Air and sitting next to my dad, who is going to help get me settled. I would have loved to buy a 1 way ticket, but that is just way to expensive and see this picture below????
So dad will be staying for 14 days. I am very grateful for this because I want to learn how to feel independent. It will be like when he taught be how to ride a bike. Run with me until I am ready and then push me off to ride on my own.
A girl on an adventure.
Things I follow:A Kilt and A Camera
Becky's Picket Fence
Catching Up with Kate
Mary Debastos Scotland Blog
My Joyful Hallelujah
Tiny Little Footprints