So with that little bit of information I sit here thinking about whether or not I should reflect on 2017 or just think about what I want out of 2018 (without resolutions.. I don't like those). In all honesty, most of 2017 brings me a lot of feelings of anxiety, stress and overall unhappiness... so spending too much time looking backwards is not something I want to do to much of. I probably should work through it- but even thinking about it- I feel my heart tighten, my eyes well up with tears and I am sat in what feels like a frozen panic. I know there is things to celebrate from 2017.. 1) I finished the Phd and 2) my job was made permanent- those are two very important, great, big deals... yet something inside me still feels overwhelmed. So I will leave it at that.. and I may end up writing about this year in the future when I am ready to face it- and I am not sorry for going in what may seem like circles about it.. it is my blog after all and I can discuss what I want to :)
2017 did end well.... I was able to travel with my cousin, Leah. Leah is an incredible young woman who I admire greatly. I look to her as a sister- and I am grateful for her friendship, support and for her being a continuous inspiration to me. When I met Leah (as an adult) just 4 years ago- I didn't know really what to expect- other than how great is it that I have a family member on this side of the Atlantic! Yet, through the years- she has grown so much as a woman and has become a friend and a confidant and I love her dearly. Even though she is about 10 years my junior- she is wise beyond her years and always has a way of putting things in perspective. Leah currently lives in Bordeaux, France- the city of wine. It is a beautiful city, the food (and did I mention wine?) are great, the coffee shops are cozy, the museums are quirky, and it is also pretty easy to navigate (which when you don't speak the language is always a plus). If you have not been- it is one of my favourite places in France to go ( although thinking about this... I could be bias because of having a personal translator that lives there..), as there is a real charm about the city. Maybe you should just go and see/judge for yourself! So back to the end of the year being good... went to visit Leah in Bordeaux for the Christmas holidays, and we took a short trip to San Sebastian (in Spain), and we said our good byes in Paris (and then I spent two days alone traveling in Belgium). It was good to be able to spend Christmas with family- we both decided to not return home to the states for Christmas so being over here with family makes being away from the Christmas traditions of the familiar less difficult. So thanks Leah, for making my Christmas one of happiness that will be treasured.
So here we are now.. into 2018- so what is going to happen this year? I have no clue. I do know that I am more cultured after spending the first week of the New Year getting caught up on Star Wars. Yes.. that is right- I had never seen an entire Star Wars movie- I think my good friend Keith from my undergrad would be so proud. I remember him bringing ALL the movies over to my apartment to begin to watch them.. and I just couldn't do it- I couldn't appreciate them- so we watched Hostel instead. I am happy to report to you Keith... if you are reading this.. I can appreciate them now- I enjoyed them and respect episodes 4,5,6 over 1,2 and 3 and was thrilled by the improvement of 7 and 8 from 1,2 and 3- and I will commit to seeing 9 when it comes out next year. I am very thankful to my friends Emmy and Daan for coming up with the marathon plan, including me in to their lives (every single day for oh 7 days !) and I also want to be thankful for having the time back in my life to be able to do what I wanted, without feeling guilty about it, and letting myself just have fun- this balance is important- and so good for the soul.
The semester has started back in full swing... and while I am looking forward to the end of it all ready (because I graduate and really really need a summer break with more than a couple weeks off), I am enjoying the classes that I teach, the students that teach me so much and working collaboratively with colleagues. I hope that I can make a difference this year- and bring positivity to those around me.
And with that.. I am really tired... and I will just leave this post now- as I am sure its the first of many to come.
Welcome 2018- please be kind.