Before I get into the play by play of this exciting trip I think should probably back up to explain why I booked this trip in the first place. There are various reasons and a couple of which I will share openly in this very public forum and some others that can be discussed over a bottle of wine.
When I was in Tenerife with my friend Chris (#fakehusband, #togetherish, #fakecouple), we talked a lot about finding new friends. It is not that our friends are not good enough. It is that A. we don't have that many in Edinburgh and B. most of our friends are also work colleagues who have partners and kids. So when wanting to expand the circle of friends that are not attached to other people or our profession what do you actually do? You can revert to online dating in hopes that you also find mates along the way, join clubs, or just walk into random pubs and shout "be my friend" - a decision which may result in less friends than when you started. Through these conversations one idea of finding a travel company that targeted young professionals naturally became a google search. We were sat at a small coffee shop filled with old British expats and we found various companies that promoted young people travel (young travel.. but older than contiki!) This google search ultimately lead to various travel company advertisements flooding my computer and smart devices, and some how I came across FlashPack after returning home. I saw a trip that said: cooking, kayaking and yoga- which basically translates to Stacey Lynn Webb and even though SE Asia was never really on my radar it quickly became a place that I needed to see.
Later I read a blog connected to the Flashpack organisation and the post was called 'Single in your 30s: The beauty of being selfish'. It reminded me that I should embrace my current status in life- even though society generally (and sometimes even me) doesn't always view a woman in her 30s without hitting the 20/30 something milestones to be successful (the author suggests job, property and partner and I would add the 4th to be offspring). I am lucky in the sense that I have a job that can support a lifestyle that I want... ( well kind of.. I mean I would def like more money than academia is willing to pay an early career female who works her ass off- but that is for another post.) In all honesty if I want to go out for dinner I do, if I want to travel I can, and if I want to leave my heat on for a few extra hours in the winter its not going to break the bank. So why not embrace the unique position I am in, to live in the moment, see the world and treat myself? Why not just live the best life I can? Why not do what feeds my own happiness? And again like the author said there is an upside to this "selfishness"- hopefully when I am taking care of me and doing the things that make me happy I am also becoming abetter person to those around me- I can be a better friend, family member, colleague and teacher! Happy Stacey is much more fun to be around than Depressed Stacey! Through much of this year I have been more Depressed Stacey than Happy Stacey (PhD Recovery?), but in September particularly I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Work felt heavy. I won't go into the details of it, as I am sure we have all experienced seasons of the job where you feel like there is too much to do and too little manpower and ultimately not enough reward for what you are doing- but yet you have to do it all any way. I knew that at the end of this semester I would need to find respite and find a way to switch off entirely.
I looked at the Vietnam/Cambodia trip on and off, and emailed the company to ask questions about the trip and kept it in the back of my mind. If I was going to take this trip I would have needed to plan it ages ago- so kept thinking it wouldn't actually be possible for 2018. I knew that 2019 was already filled with conference travel which naturally will turn into personal travel added on. So when would I take this trip the one that was designed for me? It was now late October and there were only 4 spots left on the trip for December. I kept going back and forth- do I go in December of 2018 or do I push it off? I know that going home for the holidays for many people seems like what is the 'normal' thing to do. Yet, I kept also thinking about the feelings of inadequacy that I feel around the holiday time. The thought of going to another holiday without a partner, without kids, and being what essentially feels like the "3rd wheel" or odd person out wasn't something that I really wanted to face. I recognise that this feeling of inadequacy is mine and mine alone- but when it hits it depresses me and who wants to feel depressed on Christmas? I had already been feeling so shit the past couple months why add to it? Last year I traveled with my cousin, Leah, over Christmas and I loved every minute of it, so to travel again made sense. Travel does something for my soul- I guess you can say it "feeds" my soul. All the newness, all the adventure keeps me on my toes and in many cases forces me out of my comfort zone (something I love and hate at the same time).
So after being reminded that it was ok to be selfish, in an attempt to embrace my solo status, and of course after calculating time spent with family over the course of 2018 (yes I did evaluate this because lets be honest- GUILT), I decided sometimes you just have to pull out the credit/debt card and click 'submit' and 'agree'- so I did I booked myself on the trip to discover Vietnam and Cambodia and treated myself to first class round trip plane ticket to fly in style.
So the following posts will share some of the highlights and the thoughts of this wonderful trip to South East Asia. I hope you enjoy them and that they inspire your sense of adventure to get out and see the world.